I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
