you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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