Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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