Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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