So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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