it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
A bitchslap is in order.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
