they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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