I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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