I puked a lego.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
