i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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