Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
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I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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