Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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