Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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