Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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