just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
