did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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