Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We had sex on a dog bed..
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
