bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
