I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
