So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
