left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
