Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
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It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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