I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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