She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize