the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Help. Why am I so naked?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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