The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
