I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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