Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
im holly from the hills drunk
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
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I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
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So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize