let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
false alarm, still single
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
