Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
