Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He? As in you personified your dick?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
