marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
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I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
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Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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