i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
