New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
