I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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