Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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