My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
