have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
