East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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