that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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