Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
