I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
