guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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