Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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