I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
