Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
