Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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