well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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