i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
