I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
