Is it normal to miss your booty call?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
