That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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