I'm gonna have a badass scar
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
