Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
