the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
