I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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