I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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