he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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