I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
