even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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