Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
