I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
