They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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