You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
