His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
