I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
